What's going on?

A lot happened in the past year. It was my happiest time of my life. There have been times when I have thought I am the happiest person on Earth and times when I have cried. But the fact that I love her had never changed and will never change.

As you know we were studying in the same class past year. At first it was like I can’t see her. But as time goes on I got the guts to see her. But I haven’t got the guts to see her after catching her eye. In just few days the whole class came to know about us. At first the boys used to tease me but as the time goes on it seems like they got bored of it. If you were studying with me you will hardly find me looking away from her…

But even though I got guts to see her I never got guts to talk to her. I always want to her. I had lots of questions to ask. I want answers. I think like after 5 months one day I wrote a letter to her. The letter contain something like “ I am gonna cut my hair tomorrow (xD) and Happy Diwali “ I still don’t know why I wrote this letter. Anyway after the school is over she used to stay at class like for 30 minutes. I just kept that letter on her place. She read it and showed to her friend, they two were the only girls in the class at that time. Her friend is such a fool that she showed the letter to the teacher. The teacher didn’t read the letter there as there were boys whom where very keen to see what I have written. Then the teacher went and soon Abi showed me a gesture saying Sorry and went to her house. I was in heaven at that time. She had never talked to me for like a year. I know that I am gonna get into serious trouble. But the happiness overtook the fear.

The next day I went to school earlier. She also came early. She called me gesturing that she want something to say to me. She said she didn’t understand why I gave that letter. She also said sorry. I said why you are saying sorry as you have done nothing wrong (these are my first words to her other than shaking heads last year). Then she went. The day was normal as usual. But at the evening after the class are over my teacher asked me to stay in class. She called me in private and asked me why you gave this letter to her. She also threatens me that she will say this to the principal or my parents. It was a bad day.

The next day in the morning we were alone in class. She asked what our teacher told me. I said what she told. She was listening and then she said ‘’This is why I asked sorry”. I was damn happy. I thought I could talk to her often from then on. But I never had chance to talk to her. But I continued to see her. I thought I should never give up in my love no matter what happened.

I used to see her less often when that particular teacher was around. It was usual up to February 13. I could not forgot that day. Some one from my class said that I am still seeing her to my teacher. She got really angry on me and Abi and asked us to stay after classes. Some of our friends stayed back. That day was mad. My teacher was so crazy, she was going to say about us to principal. If she said to our principal I should be packing from the school the next day. So I said I won’t see her hereafter. I have to say it and so I did. I also had a row with my friend. I couldn’t control that, I was crying…

After that day I was saying to everyone that I stopped my love. Everyone believed me. You know I never want that incident to happen again. When my teacher asked about it to my friends everyone said I have stopped seeing her. I also reduced seeing her. I don’t want my non-friends to see me staring at her.

Then someday in March a friend of Abi said to our teacher " Abi said she hate you. She said you have no rights to talk about our personal things.” I was surprised by this. We never talk bad about our teachers. Even though she had done bad things in past. Our teacher just smiled and went. We were astonished about her forgiveness(me and my friends).

It was mid-March. I took Abi’s note from her bag to see her address. I noted her address and when I was going to keep it in her bag again Abi came back to my class. So I kept the note in my bag and went home. I was worried that she will shout at me for taking her note. I was sure that she will came to know that its me who took the note as I was the only one in the class at the time. But she was as just normal. Didn’t show much signs of losing something.